In your face

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Feel the rush of water crushing into your face. Feel as your skin is being pulled against by its force. Feel as your blood vessles thumps against the pressure. Feel as water sprays fiercely into your eyes. FEEL.

I remembered feeling like as if I lost my entire life. I remembered feeling like as if I was in a meaningless trance. I remembered feeling so light i felt like flying. I remembered how it felt like when an invisible knife stab my pounding heart. I remembered not feeling. I remembered feeling how adrenalin would rush through my veins. I remembered feeling sick in my stomach. I remembered feeling scared. I remembered feeling like I was on a ferry-go-round. I remembered hating the feeling of having to change the scenery of my life. I remembered feeling frustrated when I couldnt mend anything. I remembered feeling at peace with myself.

I remembered feeling all of this at different points in my life. But I dont remember feeling how its like to cope with the death of someone you love dearly. Of course, I do miss my Habib and my Nyang. But thats a different story. I was really young when Habib passed away. I was less than 1. And its already such an impact now still. Everytime his name is mentioned, my heart would skip a beat and i would fall in a deep hole for a second. Did you know he asked for me just before he passed away? Habib, Habib.. I hope to see you again and be in your arms where I know I will be safe. I hope you can feel what I am feeling now. Perhaps theres some kind of invisible connection between us. LoL.

Snaps back.

I remember the feeling of swinging under a swing. I remember the feeling of running. I remember the feeling of bungee jumping. I remember the feeling to be touched by someone you like. I remember.

I remembered it all. I remember how its like to feel.. anything. Thus I wonder how it must feel like to, not feel anything at all. The beauty of.. the beauty of what? The beauty of being able to feel? But feel from where? Your heart, your senses. The feeling of each erupted thought brings about from a volcano of brain juices.

As I look down and wonder, a tear pierces my eye. Alone as I stand, arms around me.. I gently sway to the soft rustling of the autumn leaves.

Beauty. Theres beauty in every little thing if only you would probe in deeper.

Now thats something for all of you to think.

Beauty.

- i like the cranberries
rambled by AiS at 5:21 PM

Comments: Post a Comment